Thanks for stoppin' by and checkin' out the Bsombin' blog! I wanted to share a poem I wrote last year.
Since the start of the pandemic, I've talked to a lot of people about how they feel about the current state of the world and how they are dealing with it. It feels like most of us share a feeling of disbelief and are disappointment, when we talk about all the moments and opportunities that we have been robbed of by the pandemic. From high school graduations and weddings to job opportunities and closed down businesses, the pandemic changed everything for most of us and left us all with broken dreams.
I found most of the people who I spoke with saying things like, "...when this thing is over and we get back to normal." I feel like the world as we knew it has come to an end and we are currently in a new world. In other words, things aren't ever going to go back to the "normal" of yesterday. Which isn't entirely a bad thing, considering how messed up "normal" was. Still, change is seldom easy. Even more so when it's forced on us. Which, I feel, is why most people are hopeful that we will be able to go back to things being just the same way they were before COVID-19 turned the world on it's head. But I'm hopeful that we will progress and take this as an opportunity to learn and grow into a more conscious, cautious, and thoughtful world.
All these conversations got me to thinking a lot about "hopes" and "expectations". And what they can do to a person when life doesn't give us the future we had hoped for or expected. From my own experience, it can really fuck a person up! The hardest changes I've had forced on me weren't due to a global virus. For me, my divorce was probably the hardest time I had with failed hopes and expectations. But, the pandemic has had it's effects on me, I won't lie. The silver lining, though, is that with change comes new opportunities and a chance to start on a new path towards something greater than what we had been hoping for or expecting.
All this thinking and feeling inspired me to write the following poem. It's about losing all the things we had our hearts set on and dealing with the fact that those dreams won't come true. The title sums up how I felt after being forced to give up on some of my greatest hopes and expectations. And the poem is a mix of my own thoughts and feels along with those of the people who I spoke to regarding the pandemic.
“Disillusioned”
Lost in a land that
Does not exist…
Tethered to the
Tireless memories of
Moments that
We never shared,
Pining what we
Did not have;
Missing what we
Failed to do;
Praying for a
Future that
Never was,
As we
Hold on to our
“If”s & “When”s,
Like dead
Flowers that
Never bloomed,
All because of what
We grew
Inside of our
Hearts and minds
Before knowing that
The worlds we knew
Were doomed
Left in their wake,
Looking for
What should have been,
Praying,
“Please, God, help,
For Heaven's Sake…”
Disillusioned
- Bsomb4
